Everything You Need For Delivery (and after!) for the Anxious Mom-to-be!

Today I am spilling ALL about a very different topic than usual: GIVING BIRTH! I’m no expert, but I did just do it for the first time about a month ago and holy crap what an experience. When I was preparing for delivery day I found it SO helpful to read up on what I should expect and what I would need to do to prepare for labor!

As an overly anxious mom-to-be at the time (now I’m just an overly anxious mom) I find it really helpful to prepare as much as I can in advance physically and mentally. So that meant knowing what I should be bringing to the hospital, having what I need at the ready at home for postpartum recovery, and reading a ton of birth stories to get an idea of a bunch of different scenarios that could potentially unfold for me! Because while you can go in with a birth plan, it is more than likely that things will not go as planned or predicted! (Something I learned from reading other women’s experiences and even my own!)

So this isn’t exactlyyy a “birth story” blog post. But I will be weaving in my own experience here and there because even with my EXTREME preparation (like I was Googling “graphic birth videos” because I needed to know what to expect exactly. Yes I know psycho move.) I still felt like there were some KEY things that every anxious mom-to-be NEEDS to know that for whatever reason, I just didn’t!

SO I will be breaking this down between preparing for labor, during labor, and after labor ( AKA the 4th trimester!) I will be sharing things that happen that you can expect as well as products I recommend to get you through and make the experience much easier and less anxiety-inducing,

Disclaimer #1- some of the links for products I share below are affiliate links! All this means is that I may get a small commission if you happen to click through and make a purchase. So thank you for your support and for stopping by the blog today! I hope this post helps to ease your anxiety around giving birth!

Disclaimer #2- I AM NOT A DOCTOR AND THIS IS NOT MEDICAL ADVICE. This is purely anecdotal from my own experience! Please consult your doctor if you’re ever unsure about anything and don’t take medical advice from random bloggers on the internet like me LOL!

Everything You Need For Delivery (and after!) for the Anxious Mom-to-be!

BEFORE DELIVERY

Before delivery you’re going to want to pack your hospital bag! This way you know you have everything you need for yourself, your partner, and baby and it’s not something you have to run around in a panic trying to put together while you’re in early labor! My bag was like 99% packed and that last 1% that needed to get done once I was in labor was pretty much impossible to focus on or think about so I can’t even imagine if I hadn’t packed anything at all yet!

click here to shop my super cute diaper bag!

WHAT TO PACK IN YOUR HOSPITAL BAG:

1- All your important documents!

This one is no-brainer but you’re going to want any pre-registration forms, copy of the papers your OBGYN makes you sign stating you’re either good or not good with them giving you a blood transfusion if needed, proof of vaccination or negative COVID test, your ID, health insurance card, and anything else that you hospital or doctor told you to bring!

You’re also going to want some semblance of a birth plan, which you could just keep in your head or you can actually craft one up and print out to give to your nurses/doctors. My advice is to definitely keep it loose and go in with no expectations of 100% of your birth plan happening/going your way.

I had set in my mind that of course I would go into labor naturally and envisioned the whole experience of timing my contractions at home and finally getting in the car once I was writhing in pain and the contractions were close together. But my water broke at home BEFORE my body actually went into labor and the ride to the hospital was totally not what I envisioned at all! (It was pain free which I did not mind) But we thought they were gonna tell us to turn around and go home we didn’t believe it was actually happening since I was only 38 weeks! But they said I had to stay and that they were going to induce labor! A scenario I wish I had thought about more when it came to my birth plan because they sort of just handed me a pill I had never heard of and after taking it I totally spiraled mentally freaking out about potential side effects! Had I done my research beforehand, I would have learned that unwanted side effects are pretty rare and would have calmly accepted the pill. SO definitely think about any and all scenarios that could potentially crop up and how you feel about them (AKA put it in your birth plan) because labor is anything but predictable!

2- Going home outfit for baby

The hospital provides pretty much everything baby needs which is amazing! They provide diapers, wipes, a swaddle blanket, and they have a bunch of plain onesies they dress them in until it’s time to leave! (PS-Definitely bring an extra empty bag to take home all the extra diapers, wipes, etc they provide because that hospital bill is no joke girl, get your money’s worth! Plus they legally have to throw it all out anyway once you leave sooo might as well put it to good use!)

click here to shop this adorable coming home from the hospital baby girl outfit and swaddle I bought for my baby!

Keep in mind the fact that you’ll have to put baby in a car seat and the weather/time of year when choosing your baby’s outfit. We had our baby in July so we just put her in a short sleeve onesie. I attempted to put a bow on her head but I was all flustered and it didn’t pan out and the nice old man who wheeled us out thought I had a boy! But at least she was dressed appropriately for the weather LOL!

And look you can totally do it up and bring a really nice swaddle cute outfit for photos, but from my own personal experience you’re SO zonked and overwhelmed that a photoshoot is really the last thing on your mind in the hospital. I brought all that and then turns out waiting until we got home to take a cute photo of her was much less stressful and way easier.

3- Nursing friendly pajamas / loungewear for mom

I LOVED these nightgowns for when I was pregnant and then they are really comfy for the hospital too! You don’t have to change into your own clothes until you leave the hospital technically but I really felt the need to shower and change into something that made me feel more human! You can also pack nursing-friendly bras but to be honest after my nurses and doctors saw me naked on all fours pushing out my baby and screaming, I figured eh, why try and cover up with a bra at this point. So I didn’t even wear one because life is more comfortable that way and trust me, you’re gonna be UNCOMFORTABLE after giving birth. But more on that later!

4- Shower shoes

TRUST ME. You’re going to want some shoes to wear in the bathroom. They give you socks but like it’s still icky to me to then get back into bed with the bathroom floor nastiness on the bottom of your socks SO shower shoes for sure! I got this pair from Amazon! If you’re in between sizes, size down!

click here to shop these shower shoes on Amazon

5-Long phone / device charger

Trust me on this one too! You’re gonna want to be able to charge your phone and maybe even your tablet if you’re getting induced and there ends up being a lot of downtime/waiting around. We had a solid 6 hours of waiting for contractions to start so it was nice to have been able to binge the first few episodes of the new Gossip Girl reboot to take my mind off things while we waited! Anyway the outlets are pretty far from the bed usually so a LONG charger is clutch!

6- Chapstick

Everyone I know has complained that their lips got really chapped during labor? I did not experience this (which is weird I pretty much always get chapped lips) but in case you do, it’s real easy to just pop this in your bag just in case!

7-Speaker

This is optional but OMG it really was fantastic that we had a speaker. My husband was in charge of the playlist and was playing songs based on my mood. We played everything from Beyonce to Sinatra, and having music really helped me get through labor! I think the nurses really enjoyed it too!

8-Nipple Cream

If you plan on breastfeeding, it like, REALLY hurts in the beginning and you can totally end up with cracked/sore nipples. Gross, I know, but it will be the least of your ailments post delivery, and truly nothing compared to labor pain so you won’t be too bothered. But to reduce your discomfort, this nipple cream will help for sure. I would start using it off the bat. It’s safe to use with baby you don’t even have to wipe it off or anything when he/she is ready to feed again!

9-Toiletries

Basically anything you’ll want/need as far as looking and feeling put together. I brought all my makeup and didn’t use it once, but I know some girls who put on a full face in the hospital (I was really trying to be THAT girl but I failed LOL)! What I did use: travel size shampoo and body wash, toothbrush / toothpaste, face wash, hair brush, and HAIR TIES! Definitely do not skip the hair ties, especially if you plan on breastfeeding. Hair just gets in the way.

I love this cute toiletry bag for the hospital! Wishing I had bought it. Would also make a great gift for a momma-to-be!

10- Whatever your partner needs!

I think your partner is a big boy or girl and can fend for themselves, but in case you need to consult them a little, my husband packed comfy clothes, his toiletries, his ID and proof of vaccination, his own pillow because he really likes his pillow, his own towel, his headphones, wallet, phone, and that was really it! We planned on buying him some snacks to bring but I went into labor early so we never got around to doing that! But the hospital typically supplies the husband with a guest tray and there is usually a cafeteria and/or snack machine available in most hospitals! So unless your partner is incredibly picky or on a strict diet, it’s not a necessity.

11- Pacifier

This is optional and also highly debated topic! We packed a pacifier and didn’t end up using it. She ended up being pretty chill in the hospital. Took her a couple days to reallyyyy show her true colors LOL! But we introduced a pacifier earlier than recommended. They say it can cause nipple confusion/mess with their latch. Which, it may have! She started having issues with breastfeeding like 3 weeks in, so who knows what caused that. My theory is too many bottle feeds mixed in early and she got lazy on the breast (it’s harder to suck on the breast v bottle), but truly I have zero idea why she suddenly was just failing at breastfeeding! Baby’s are unpredictable I will tell ya that much.

SO anyway, I know that doesn’t seem like much compared to some other lists out there, but I felt like I overpacked to be honest and this is probably the only time I regret overpacking! It just adds to the chaos and overwhelm when you need something quick and it’s buried beneath all the pointless crap you packed!

DURING LABOR

So I also just want to touch upon some other really helpful ways (IMO) to prepare for D-day! Again, I am the type of anxious that needs to know what to expect before going into a scenario because it helps me to roll with the punches a lot easier. Too many unexpected things/surprises starts to stress me out and I spiral, so this might be overkill for the average mom, BUT you clicked over to this blog post that literally the title says it’s FOR anxious moms sooo I’m assuming you’re like me.

Hugs for sure help during contractions LOL. My hubby was the best support person!

1- Know the early signs of labor

I was SO glad that my ridiculous habit of Googling “early signs of labor” way more than any human should paid off when I finally DID get an early sign of labor! It helped me to really feel prepared and in control in the moment instead of totally confused or totally ignoring a key sign of labor. (My water broke, and no it does not happen like it does in the movies for most cases!) Again, just another case of being prepared for when things happen! If your water breaks first then you do have to go to the hospital even if you’re not having contractions so definitely call your doctor!

As far as contractions, I was really caught up in the whole “how do I know if I’m having a contraction?” and was afraid I wouldn’t be able to tell. TRUST ME YOU CAN TELL. The best way I can describe it is like a strong tightening of your insides. It literally feels like the worst Charlie horse you’ve ever gotten but it’s in your stomach not your legs. They’re not like anything you’ve ever felt before (I know some people say they feel like period cramps or like you need to poop- I disagree until the end when you have to push, THAT feels like you gotta go #2). So yeah don’t stress about not knowing if you’re contracting, you will for sure know because DAYUM it’s a new, painful feeling.

2-Accept the fact that you’ll be in pain!

Look I’m not gonna sugar coat it, labor hurts! I was trying to read up on all these like hypno-birthing techniques about how to just roll with your contractions and reading all these stories about women who claim they had painless births… I am sure some people experience that, but I think it would be wise to be cautiously optimistic here. If you do experience pain, you may get upset if you were expecting or really hoping not to, which in turn will cause you more pain! The more you fight the contractions, flinch, tense up, etc—the worse the pain is. Your best bet is to just accept the fact that it’s gonna hurt and you’ll do great. There will still be pain, but it won’t be as intense or distressing if you just breathe through those contractions! Your adrenaline definitely takes over a lot at the end too when you’re pushing and it’s all SO much for your body to go through that my epidural had worn off and I felt EVERYTHING when it came down to the last pushes and then my stitches after the fact but it was like it didn’t even phase me by then!

3- Know the weird and wacky things that can happen during labor and that they are normal!

Going into labor already knowing that I was likely going to experience uncontrollable shaking was definitely HUGE for me since shaking is definitely something I do when I’m anxious! So knowing that it’s supposed to happen during and even after labor for awhile was SO good to know otherwise I probably would have had a full blown panic attack if I started shaking uncontrollably and didn’t know it was totally normal!

Another important fact: Your baby’s heart rate will change ALOT during labor. It will go up, down, all over the place— your nurse will fill you in on if you need to be concerned so do yourself a favor and remember that it’s normal for the heart rate to change a lot. I actually asked that when my nurse was out of the room for them to turn the sound of the monitor off so that it was not at the forefront of my mind and making me anxious! I just told myself if something is wrong they will let me know otherwise why worry about it! You’re in the safest place possible God forbid something DID go wrong too.

Another thing that is good to know: You will poop while pushing. When you get the urge to push it literally just feels like you have to poop. And your nurse will tell you to just push like you’re taking a poop. It’s the same muscles, so like, ya it’s bound to happen! But do not worry they see it ALL THE TIME, and they are pros at handling it in a way so that you don’t even know it happened!

And the last thing I thought was really important to know is that if you deliver vaginally there is a good chance you might tear down there. Totally horrifying to think about, but I would mentally prepare for that. I will get into the recovery from that and what I recommend in the after birth section, but just know that it’s highly likely and that you WILL recover from it! (speaking from someone one month out who is almost fully recovered. Key word almost it’s a long haul LOL)

4-REST UP when you can!!

No I’m not being one of those annoying people warning you about sleep deprivation once your baby is born. I am saying that if you get a chance / enough fair warning before you are in intense/active labor you should absolutely sleep or rest up in any capacity that you can! You’re either headed for the OR if you’re having a C-section or you have to push your baby out, which if you push for a long time it’s VERY physically draining! I pushed for 2.5 hours which is longer than your average and wow I have never exerted so much energy in my entire life. Pushing takes every ounce of your being and will to do so you definitely want to conserve your energy when you can beforehand!

5- Don’t be a hero

If you can’t bear the pain, get the damn epidural. I went in open-minded thinking like oh if the pain isn’t TOO bad maybe I’ll tough it out… Once I was about 4cm dilated I was already like yeah this HURTS and wait this gets WORSE?! So epidural it was for me! There’s enough to worry and stress about during labor so why not make things easier on yourself wherever you can? Of course it’s totally up to you, and if you want to go without it and you’re dead set on that just remember not to fight those contractions and millions of women have done it before so you can too! But if you’re open to an epidural the temptation will likely win over because DAMN those contractions hurt LOL!

And no, the epidural itself doesn’t hurt! They numb you quick (that pinches a little but it’s NOTHING compared to labor pain so ya won’t care), and then it takes some time to actually work to it’s full capacity, but I believe my words after it started working were “Thank GOD for epidurals!" and then I even relaxed SO much that I dozed off for like 20 minutes before it was time to push!

AFTER BIRTH

SO I am two months post giving birth to my baby girl, and the shock of it all still hasn’t worn off! You’ll still feel like OMG I DID THAT?! and OMG I HAVE A BABY?! pretty frequently and those two thoughts will keep you motivated to push through the lows of postpartum life/ the 4th trimester. Because the lows are low but the highs are very high and much more long term thankfully!

So I will be going through some good things to know and products I recommend to help you recover!

1- If you tear….

A few things you need to know:

IT WILL GET BETTER.

I tore and the aftermath was like SHOCKING to me. I knew it was possible to tear. I knew people recommended ice packs and wearing maxi pads and whatnot and that it hurts for awhile but you truly do not understand the pain and swelling that occurs down there until it happens to you. It really shook me up many times just how awful it was because I didn’t realize how debilitating it can be, especially when you’re sleep deprived and trying to learn how to take care of a newborn baby. Everyone says C-section recovery is worse, so I assumed this was a walk in the park! It is not. Nor is a c-section recovery I’m sure so God bless you ladies recovering from that.

PREPARE YOUR HOME WITH ALL THE THINGS TO MAKE YOUR RECOVERY EASIER!

Below are all the products I recommend having at the ready and purchasing beforehand or snagging from the hospital to aid in recovery. If you just want the links and want to skip the explanation, I have an Amazon storefront with every product I recommend here!

Adult diapers- Yep. Adult diapers. It just makes your life easier instead of trying to finagle putting a maxi pad on that disposable underwear they give you at the hospital. This is easier, more comfortable, and you’re less likely to have leakage this way. Embrace it. But still snag all the disposable underwear for when your pain and bleeding eases up! I can’t believe I am typing this BUT I LOVED THIS BRAND OF ADULT DIAPERS. Comfy and effective.

Angled peri bottle- The hospital usually gives you a peri bottle, but not with an angled tip. This peri bottle is on Amazon and insanely cheap and makes your life SO much easier since ya can’t wipe down there for awhile. Trust me it’s worth it.

Ice packs- they will give you disposable ice packs in the hospital, but once I ran out I was in a panic state and Amazon primed these reusable ones! It was nice that it came in a 2 pack so I always had one that was good to go when needed!

Witch hazel wipes- I snagged enough of these from the hospital thankfully, but in case you’re not able to I would buy back up or buy a spray version! Helps with pain/itch and has a cooling sensation.

Ibuprofen and Tylenol- for the pain and swelling BUT ASK YOUR DOCTOR BECAUSE I AM NOT ONE.

Sitz bath- I would say don’t buy this, but just ask your nurse if you can snag one from the hospital to take home and ask him/her how to use it! No reason they should say no! It’s going to help with healing BIG TIME.

Donut cushion- You’re legitimately not going to be able to comfortably sit normally for quite some time (about 2 weeks for me!) These cushions help take the pressure off your area so you can function. Ya know like eat a meal, hold your baby sitting down, breastfeed while sitting down, etc. You need to sit alot so don’t torture yourself. Also pro tip from my cousin which I regret not doing: Ask the hospital for an egg crate cushion to take home!

2- Your hormones are gonna be wild

After the whole baby bliss and shock of giving birth wears off, suddenly you’re going to find that your emotions are ALL OVER THE MAP. One minute you’re crying happy tears, the next you’re crying sad tears, the next you’re laughing— like seriously your mind is going to just find reasons to cry it’s so ridiculous but just ride it out for a few days/weeks and you will start to normalize! If you don’t and you find yourself perpetually sad you should definitely reach out to your doctor to rule out postpartum depression. BUT just because the first few days you’re crying at the drop of a hat, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re depressed! Most moms experience these “baby blues”!

3- You’re going to need help

Whether that is from your partner, other family members, friends—if someone is offering just say yes! Your sanity levels will thank you. And if nobody is offering, don’t wallow in sadness just ASK! Some people just don’t know what is appropriate or don’t want to overstep so just assume that your friends and family love you (spoiler alert, they do!) and would of course help you if you needed it and wouldn’t hesitate if you asked for help! If you don’t want to put your family or friends out and you have the money you can also hire someone to help. Ain’t no shame in it, you gotta do what is best for you and baby! And girl be proud you can afford that. Worth every penny!

4- You got this!

I feel like I am semi writing this to tell myself this! But it’s true. Your mama instincts take over and even when you feel really clueless, scared, and in over your head—just think that there are soooo many parents out there who are far more irresponsible/stupid/incapable/on hard drugs than you and THEY raised children who survived and became functioning members of society. BUT on the real if you love your baby and you’re doing your best, you’re doing AMAZING, the rest is not under your control so just focus on loving your little one and doing what you think is best and making sure you rest when you can!

If you are currently pregnant, check out my other related blog posts below!